“We” Are Pregnant vs “I” am Pregnant

Sex can be enjoyable during pregnancy

Sex can be enjoyable during pregnancy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

An interesting subject brought up by a Doula Space Member on FaceBook:

Kimberly Says:

“It’s something I won’t understand until I’m sailing in that boat…..but when pregnant women say “we are pregnant, we’re trying to breast feed, etc….” IT ANNOYS ME. Pregnancy is solo…..I NEVER hear..WE had an episiotomy, we are lactating, we are crowning, we have gas, our water broke, baby is pressing on OUR ribs and WE can’t sleep or breathe comfortably. WE had a contraction! CUT IT OUT WITH THE INCLUSIVITY!!!……*rant COMPLETE*”

via Doulaspace.

Melissa Lol I thought the same thing until I had my daughter. You know what it is. There is a huge line. HUGE between pregnancy and breast feeding, and labor and birth. Because the fact is that no one can do it for you. My husband and I were pregnant. He helped me and supported me through everything. Spoiled me completely rotten. He dealt with mood swings and long nights and lots of tears. That is something that couples go through together. Same with breast feeding. A mother needs the full support of her partner for nursing to work. But labor. No matter who is there to help you cope. No matter what anyone says or does, you have to do it. No one can help your body do that. So when couples say “We are pregnant” it means that couple has a really good support system between themselves. Its a good sign.”
Cheriena SerganinLol that’s true in some respect, but in others it makes sense to say “we” are pregnant because after all the father got you pregnant. We can’t get pregnant without a “we”! I am four months pregnant with our second baby right now, and my husband definitely shares in many of my burdens! Although I have never said “we are trying to breastfeed” I have said “we are doing a natural drug free birth” because my husband helped give me the birth we wanted last time, and you can bet I will be counting on him to support me this time! No one supports me with my pregnancies like my husband, not even my mom!”
Sarah  “yeah, I agree too. I would definitely have been down to have been part of a good “we” when I was pregnant. wasn’t worth being with the wrong guy, but it sure would have made it more fun walking into a room full of couples, for the mama-to-be groups at my Midwife’s. just sayin”
Ilka  I never used the we in talking, but in pregnancy and in labor, I was a we. my baby and I were working together, my parter right there along for the ride. Partners can be so involved and so present, they just become we. and i think the language helps mamas to feel like they are not alone.
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3 thoughts on ““We” Are Pregnant vs “I” am Pregnant

  1. Yeah, I thought it was an interesting topic when I saw it on fb because women do go through so much that their partners will never understand, but they also (at least they SHOULD) help with the pregnancy and are so much a part of it in many ways. My husband is here for me every day, my mom asks me how I am feeling most days, while even some of my closest friends have not asked me how I am doing so far. When I was working though, I had some really supportive co-workers and that made me feel less alone, they were great! My husband has really been so great with me and our two year old. It is a “we” for me!

  2. Pingback: Lady bits and lap-band update « expecting to be expecting

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